When Students Belong, They Thrive

When it's a "Belonging Problem"

When is vandalism a belonging problem, and not a discipline problem?

Dawn runs an after-school college access program, bringing middle schoolers from low-income neighborhoods to a private school campus for intensive academic support. When graffiti appeared in a school bathroom, witnesses pointed to a group of kids from the program, including Mateo - a bright kid whose parents had immigrated from El Salvador and were counting on him to lead the way for his siblings.

"The vandalism was a wake-up call," admitted Dawn. "We realized, we don't have a behavior problem… We have a belonging problem."

The students were away from their home schools and friends, dropped into a borrowed space very different from what they were used to. The program welcomed them warmly, but the underlying message was: this is a privilege. It isn't yours. The graffiti was, in its way, a response to that message.

The Hidden Toll of "Belonging Uncertainty"

Stanford psychologist Geoffrey Cohen calls what those students were experiencing "belonging uncertainty" - doubt about whether you fit in and whether you're meant to be there. When that uncertainty goes unaddressed, students interpret every setback as evidence that they don't belong.

Research out of MIT's Teaching + Learning Lab shows the stakes. A student's sense of belonging is tied to higher academic performance, greater persistence, and lower rates of depression and anxiety - effects that last through life.

One study found that targeted interventions to cultivate belonging increased continuous enrollment for disadvantaged students by 9 percentage points over two years. Another found that students who felt a stronger sense of belonging before COVID had significantly lower rates of depression and anxiety during the pandemic. Belonging, it turns out, is one of the more reliable predictors of student success we have.

Redesigning the Environment

Rather than responding to the graffiti with punishment, Dawn convened a group of sixth and seventh graders - Mateo included, once he'd helped clean up the mess - and asked them: what would make this place feel like it's yours?

The kids had a lot to say. They came from many different schools, neighborhoods and cultures and didn't know each other. They wanted to make friends and feel like they were coming to a place that reflected their identities. So Dawn's team redesigned the program around their answers: community-building built into the curriculum, mentoring relationships, and host school staff who connected directly with the kids. The students chose a mascot, colors and logos, and program staff built a large entry sign to welcome the kids each day, helping the students claim the site as their own.  A host school administrator - himself a first-to-college immigrant - sat down with the students to talk about the graffiti and what it meant that this school was theirs too. 

A year later, engagement and behavior had improved dramatically. We almost lost Mateo - a bright kid who could go on to start a business or cure cancer - to cycles of alienation caused by a deep lack of belonging. Multiply him by millions and you start to see what's at stake.

Shifting from "Guest" to "Owner"

Most of us are highly sensitive to subtle (and direct) signals that we don't belong, especially when we're new, alone, or in unfamiliar territory. Socio-economic and cultural differences, bias and racism will magnify the power imbalance that underlies belonging insecurity. Imagine stepping off the bus into the manicured lawns and ivy-covered halls of an elite private school when you come from a dramatically different world. From there, everything you experience will just confirm how and why you don't belong.

The good news is, simple interventions can shift the narrative from "I don't belong here" to "this is my place, my people, and I have every right to be here." To start with, asking, listening and empathizing are powerful tools to help people feel they matter. Dawn didn't "tell" the students they belonged or try to convince them - she listened to understand and looked for solutions with them.

Putting intention and design into helping students build relationships - with each other and with mentors and staff - was also critical. And giving students creative agency to leave their mark at the school and make the space theirs (more constructively than tagging!) gave the kids a sense of ownership and pride.

The Human Potential Solution

If students are more successful when they are secure in their sense of belonging, then you can bet we are all more successful - in our jobs, our roles in life, our relationships - in becoming the best versions of ourselves.

So the more thoughtfully and intentionally we design our groups, gatherings, schools and workplaces to maximize belonging, the more we bring out the full human potential around us.

Get curious, put on your belonging lenses, notice who might feel left out, what barriers are getting in the way of belonging, who is held back by belonging uncertainty. Then listen, get creative and change the narrative.

Are you seeing belonging gaps in your school community? I’d love to connect. Reply here or reach out to start a conversation. And if this resonates, feel free to share it with others who might benefit.

Research referenced in this issue: Geoffrey Cohen, Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides. Gopalan & Brady (2020), Educational Researcher; Murphy et al. (2020), Science Advances; Gopalan et al. (2022), Journal of Adolescent Health. Via MIT Teaching + Learning Lab.